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Brisbane Australia: 5pm EST
Today in a normally peaceful suburban gym in Brisbane Australia, in what witnesses described as one of the most brutal displays of physical abuse, a logbook was assaulted in full view of the gym going public by a trainer. The logbook, while trying to mind its own business, was taken by the trainer, who purports to use something called DC training, and proceeded to deal to it a beating described by some witnesses as 'brutal' and 'blood curdling'. One witness in particular said "i've never seen anything like it. the logbook is so small, and this guy just brutalised it.. i nearly peed my spandex tights and had to cry into my cut off singlet.. it was just awful!.I had to go hide behind the thigh adductor machine!!"
The trainer, who would not comment other than to say "THAT LOGBOOK IS MY BITCH AND WILL CONTINUE TO BE SO UNTIL I SAY OTHERWISE!!!" simply walked away from this reporter when approached, turned sideways to get through the doors and stormed off to his car sculling a thick white liquid someone smelled like grape juice and vanilla... He left a trail of sweat, piles of weights and other gym goers simply stunned at the sheer volume of weight moved in such a short time.
His training partner, who rather than would not comment, COULD not comment, simply lay on the floor panting and holding his arms, chest and shoulders, occassionally whimpering 'DC is comin to get me, DC is comin to get me..."
Gym owners report that this phenomenon has been occuring with frightening regularity, so much so that other log books are now refusing to go anywhere near anyone using this style of training for fear of further, and perhaps even worse abuse. No word yet on who or what DC or DC training is, as it appears a closely guarded secret by its cult like followers. If in deed DC is a man, he seems to weild great power and respect amongst his flock, instilling fear and intimidation through physical exertion. A tried and true technique it is said, but in these circumstances he appears to be building a gargantuan, very strong, very powerful army. their sole objectives appear to be to eat ALL of the food in surrounding areas and move as much lead weight as they can. This reporter cannot understand but as a precaution has parked his small, green hairdressers car under lock and key for fear of one of these DC proponents attempting to deadlift it and squatlunge it up the road for fun..
More news to follow as this extraordinary story develops..
Today in a normally peaceful suburban gym in Brisbane Australia, in what witnesses described as one of the most brutal displays of physical abuse, a logbook was assaulted in full view of the gym going public by a trainer. The logbook, while trying to mind its own business, was taken by the trainer, who purports to use something called DC training, and proceeded to deal to it a beating described by some witnesses as 'brutal' and 'blood curdling'. One witness in particular said "i've never seen anything like it. the logbook is so small, and this guy just brutalised it.. i nearly peed my spandex tights and had to cry into my cut off singlet.. it was just awful!.I had to go hide behind the thigh adductor machine!!"
The trainer, who would not comment other than to say "THAT LOGBOOK IS MY BITCH AND WILL CONTINUE TO BE SO UNTIL I SAY OTHERWISE!!!" simply walked away from this reporter when approached, turned sideways to get through the doors and stormed off to his car sculling a thick white liquid someone smelled like grape juice and vanilla... He left a trail of sweat, piles of weights and other gym goers simply stunned at the sheer volume of weight moved in such a short time.
His training partner, who rather than would not comment, COULD not comment, simply lay on the floor panting and holding his arms, chest and shoulders, occassionally whimpering 'DC is comin to get me, DC is comin to get me..."
Gym owners report that this phenomenon has been occuring with frightening regularity, so much so that other log books are now refusing to go anywhere near anyone using this style of training for fear of further, and perhaps even worse abuse. No word yet on who or what DC or DC training is, as it appears a closely guarded secret by its cult like followers. If in deed DC is a man, he seems to weild great power and respect amongst his flock, instilling fear and intimidation through physical exertion. A tried and true technique it is said, but in these circumstances he appears to be building a gargantuan, very strong, very powerful army. their sole objectives appear to be to eat ALL of the food in surrounding areas and move as much lead weight as they can. This reporter cannot understand but as a precaution has parked his small, green hairdressers car under lock and key for fear of one of these DC proponents attempting to deadlift it and squatlunge it up the road for fun..
More news to follow as this extraordinary story develops..
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