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I approached the local YMCA in my sleak 2004 mustang with Leftover Crack blaring. I had both the windows down, and could feel the Texas heat seeping in, burning the arm I had hanging out the window. After a pot of coffee and some added caffeine and taurine, I was in my zone. I walked in and continued on my musical way by strapping on my Mp3 player. I switched it on and began the last workout before leaving on vacation. First lift : Squat. Did my sets, went over to the leg press, but it was occupied by some guy going back and forth from a bodyweight hack squat to lef press... go figure. So I went and did some standing calf raises. After those, I hobled over to the fountain and sipped on the the water for a bit, caught my bearing, and headed to the leg press.
I positioned myself in the seat, did the math in my head on what weight to use, and decided to err on the heavier side. Good choice as I will later discover. I put my Mp3 player on a nice fast paced song, I think it was "I Ain't Neva Scared" or something by that fat, black man with crazy hair. I put my feet nice and high on the sled how I like it, and began my test.
I did my first few reps slowly getting used to the lighter weight and made sure I was getting my knees to the correct depth. After gathering myself I began. First 10 - this is doable, 15 - hmmmm, 20 - shit, did I choose the right weight, 25 - maybe if I choose just the right times to stop I can do this, 29 - ok... time to man up, bitch, 32 - M-m-m-my legs ... so wobbly, 36 - maybe if I practice my breathing techniques I can catch my brath and make my big comeback!, 40 - scratch that idea I need air... if only I was a hippo and could hold my brath for 5 minutes, 42- I really should have told myself I'd do this later and never done it, 45 - almost there (at this point I was staring at my legs and checking out the swollen characteristics), 47 - how did I just get 2 reps?, 48 - picture a 17 year old in a black shirt that says "It's OK to Inhale ... Oxygen Bar" dieing for air., 49 - sub-vocalization was lost at this point, 50 - legs numb, and was trying to control them without feel ... my brain is more powerful than I thought.
After that, I proceeded to do the quad stretch, and nearly quit because I felt like utter shit, and bending over backwards while gasping for air and feeling the need to vomit just didn't seem all that appealing at the time. Then came the biggest test of all ... racking the weights. After losing my balance several times, the deed was done. I 'calmly' walked over to my gym back and walked out of the YMCA looking like a fairy.
Once I swung the front door open and stepped back into the heat, I decided that I wanted to see what it felt like to try and run to my car. Do not ask me what I was thinking, it already took my about 10 minutes to walk 100 feet at most out of the gym. But, I must be a masochist, because I tried. And then I failed. See if you can imagine a dog missing a back leg, and a front leg trying to run in a circle. I ran about 5 feet and then found out it was going to be impossible to stop myself being that my legs were fried. So I ran to the curb and then into the bushed and on the other side was my car! What luck!
Now the big drive home. I felt both good and bad about it. Good because I made it to my destination, finally I was in the comfort of my sweltering hot car. But then pissed because I could still drive... perhapsI didn't go hard enough. Either way I drove the entire way home seeing lines of distorted vision, my left leg laying limp against the door, sweating profusely, and kinda moaning/screaming for most of the ride.
I made it home safely though, and got my recovery drink, nearly puked getting up to wash the bottle out, but hey... coulda been worse.
All in all, it was a humbling, gruesome, and great experience all wrapped into one painful movement. After writing this, I seem to have too much time on my hands, and if you actually read this... well, feel free to steal some of my 'hard earned' reputation points.
I can't wait to try and sit on the pot later! Woohoo?
I positioned myself in the seat, did the math in my head on what weight to use, and decided to err on the heavier side. Good choice as I will later discover. I put my Mp3 player on a nice fast paced song, I think it was "I Ain't Neva Scared" or something by that fat, black man with crazy hair. I put my feet nice and high on the sled how I like it, and began my test.
I did my first few reps slowly getting used to the lighter weight and made sure I was getting my knees to the correct depth. After gathering myself I began. First 10 - this is doable, 15 - hmmmm, 20 - shit, did I choose the right weight, 25 - maybe if I choose just the right times to stop I can do this, 29 - ok... time to man up, bitch, 32 - M-m-m-my legs ... so wobbly, 36 - maybe if I practice my breathing techniques I can catch my brath and make my big comeback!, 40 - scratch that idea I need air... if only I was a hippo and could hold my brath for 5 minutes, 42- I really should have told myself I'd do this later and never done it, 45 - almost there (at this point I was staring at my legs and checking out the swollen characteristics), 47 - how did I just get 2 reps?, 48 - picture a 17 year old in a black shirt that says "It's OK to Inhale ... Oxygen Bar" dieing for air., 49 - sub-vocalization was lost at this point, 50 - legs numb, and was trying to control them without feel ... my brain is more powerful than I thought.
After that, I proceeded to do the quad stretch, and nearly quit because I felt like utter shit, and bending over backwards while gasping for air and feeling the need to vomit just didn't seem all that appealing at the time. Then came the biggest test of all ... racking the weights. After losing my balance several times, the deed was done. I 'calmly' walked over to my gym back and walked out of the YMCA looking like a fairy.
Once I swung the front door open and stepped back into the heat, I decided that I wanted to see what it felt like to try and run to my car. Do not ask me what I was thinking, it already took my about 10 minutes to walk 100 feet at most out of the gym. But, I must be a masochist, because I tried. And then I failed. See if you can imagine a dog missing a back leg, and a front leg trying to run in a circle. I ran about 5 feet and then found out it was going to be impossible to stop myself being that my legs were fried. So I ran to the curb and then into the bushed and on the other side was my car! What luck!
Now the big drive home. I felt both good and bad about it. Good because I made it to my destination, finally I was in the comfort of my sweltering hot car. But then pissed because I could still drive... perhapsI didn't go hard enough. Either way I drove the entire way home seeing lines of distorted vision, my left leg laying limp against the door, sweating profusely, and kinda moaning/screaming for most of the ride.
I made it home safely though, and got my recovery drink, nearly puked getting up to wash the bottle out, but hey... coulda been worse.
All in all, it was a humbling, gruesome, and great experience all wrapped into one painful movement. After writing this, I seem to have too much time on my hands, and if you actually read this... well, feel free to steal some of my 'hard earned' reputation points.
I can't wait to try and sit on the pot later! Woohoo?
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