Amusing Dogg Pound story

[Gollum]

I work in real estate. I am the resident freak in my office. None of the guys I work with train at all much less train with a vengence like we do. My eating and appearance are the butt of many jokes. I have been called a "Mailbox with a head" and today I was referred to by a tenant as "The little musclehead freak". Is that a compliment? I took it as a compliment. It had the word "freak" in there which I like but I dont like being called "little" in any context.

Anyway everything went wrong at work today. You know how it is, just one of those days. So my partner and I are discussing our personally controled properties. Over the course of our hour long conversation I drank a giant protein shake, ate a bag of nuts I had lying around and stole half his sandwich. After we were done talking I got up to leave he asked where I was going and I said I'm going home to eat. He hit me with the line of the day...

"Well I'm glad to see the fact that we might lose a building or two hasn't effected your appetite!"

That just about killed me. God, I love this shit.

[In-Human]

Gollum, LOL, I just love food stories, I'm a serious pig myself, very glad to meet you.

I am well know where I live, managers at resturants don't like to see me come in anymore, but the grocery managers know me by first name, they even push an extra cart behind mine. The only thing I don't like when I go food shopping, is that they weigh me on the Teledo scale on the dock when I'm ready to leave, cause I just can not walk around all that food without eating some of it.

I went in to the Sizzler the other day, and that damn manager had a sign that had In-Human on it with a red circle and a line through it, I knew it was a joke, so I went in anyway...

[Gollum]

I've been reading about your food adventures, In-human. I hear tell you might gnaw on the bumper of a car if it hit a deer a few weeks ago.

I'm not as big as some of you guys but I've built up quite an appetite. A buffet just opened a couple blocks from my house and the manager knows me by name already. It's a great place to go if I dont feel like cooking. I just hit the chicken and roast beef.

I got another story. This past Sunday my family came to visit for Easter. Whenever my mother and grandmother come to my house, they clean. Dont ask, I cant stop them. So they are cleaning and they come upon my box of protein powder. I recently order 50lbs from Trueprotein and about 40lbs of it is still in bags in the box it came in. I see these two dragging the box out of the dining room. I'm like "Excuse me, where are you going with my protein?"

You ready? They were dragging it to the shed. They thought it was driveway patch or sand...something to repair the driveway with. I crack up and tell them politely please leave it alone its protein powder. They both look at it and say "You EAT this?"

Bless their hearts. They mean well.

And quit hogging all the good bumpers. Leave a little road kill for the rest of us.

[JonnyO]

Big guys are the butt of alot of jokes. I am called The Tank by my girlfriends cousins and his friends. Others friends call me Robotic Man. The list goes on but they are meant as compliments.

[In-Human]

JonnyO, If I don't think it is a compliment, I just eat them!, hehe.

Gollum, that is a good idea, I have a few cracks in my driveway, I may give that a try with some of my other protein powder that I don't eat anymore, shit from Met-Rx...

[The Munster]

I don't have any stories that good yet but my wife and I do get real funny looks from people when we are doing our Rach Chins. The funniest (and longest) stare came from a guy that walked in the gym with his leather weight belt sinched (sp?) about 3 notches to tight and proceeded to work arms with it on. He's wearing SHORT athletic shorts, you know the grey kind we had to wear in gym class in junior high, and a ripped up t-shirt and he looked like one of the biggest goofballs I've ever seen.
And he's looking at us funny!
The Munster:Punch:

[Sentinel]

this is pretty funny stuff

[jesus rocks]

when My wifes died died, we inherited like 10,000 but my wifes grandmother took like 3500 of it. When she asked what we spent the money on we told her we had a lot of bills to catch up on, bought some protein and about 80lbs of beef.
She said "why did you do that, that will go bad even if you freeze it!"
a month later and were out.