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Attack of the 400lb powerliar...a short story

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  • Attack of the 400lb powerliar...a short story

    So in the gym today, I was just finishing up my 3B workout which includes squats. I did 585 for 7 then did a 315WM. I have been trying to do a little bit lighter of a WM so I can keep my feet closer together...which is new to me. But I am trying to get my quads to grow. I squat a lot, deep...but my quads are still not proportioned to my upper body....but I digress...

    So I am in the Army, and in aviation at that...so most of the folks that I have run into in my 10 years in the army are more of the crossfit/marathon runner types. They dabble in the gym...view me as a total enigma...with a slight dose of disgust because admittedly, I can barely pass my 2 mile run....but I pass!

    So today, in my gym on post, walks in one of the fattest dudes I've ever seen...his tshirt sleeves are rolled up so high I can actually see the cellulite on the upper bicep tie-in. Small legs to boot. I finish my heavy set, getting ready for my WM and he walks over looking like he just sucked off an air compressor...arms wide, thumbs in, you know the drill...

    "You gonna be here for a little bit?" Fatman asked me.
    "I got one more set and I'm outa here bud." I replied.
    "Oh, damn, I need a spot over on the hammer strength squat machine"
    "No worries man, I can help you out, lemme know when you are ready"

    I then tried putting my ipod back in so I could finish up and he was still standing there in all his puffiness....

    "I would squat, but I keep breaking the bars in here." He said.
    "Really? How much you squatting?" I asked with a friendly smile.
    "1200, thats all the bar will hold, but I can't afford to keep buying new bars"

    It was at this point where I kinda got a little pissed off. Really dude? You fat-up-top-skinny-leg-mother-fucker! Do I look that fucking stupid?

    He continued to piss me off..."You know, I read an article in muscle and fitness that said the smith machine was just as good for building mass as free squats. You see, on the Hammer strength, I use chains so I can hang extra weight off of it, and I really need about 5 people to help spot me...you wont be able to do it by yourself."

    I opened my mouth, about to speak...but I couldn't do it. I couldn't help this guy. I said nothing and went back to my 315 WM narrow stance feeling like a small, weak, turd.

    I finished up the WM, took a couple of minutes to catch my breath...I watched him do a "warm up" set on the hammer strength...about 6 inch ROM. When he was done, he tried accosting me again...I started first.

    "Look dude, I'm not a typical army guy. I actually do follow this type of thing and I've been lifting for 20 fucking years. IF you are squatting 1200lbs RAW, I suggest you get to the nearest power lifting meet STAT, because Mike Miller, to my knowledge, has the world record squat somewhere around 1160lbs and that is in a full squat suit, knee wraps and belt. The raw record is much less, somewhere closer to 900lbs...and you are telling me you are squatting 1200lbs RAW? You might as well just piss on my leg and tell me its raining. You dont need a spotter for that hammer strength machine...you need a fucking trainer, and I'm not him."

    I walked out of the gym feeling quite vindicated. I normally help out anyone who asks...as long as they dont treat me like a fucking retard within 20 seconds of meeting me. I dont know if my numbers are entirely accurate, but it wasn't the issue....I'm not a crossfitting/marathon running typical army dude that doesn't know shit about big weight...dont shine me on!

    Just thought I'd share with you all...BEWARE the 400lb powerliar!
    Last edited by armyguy99; 05-07-2011, 07:26 PM.
    I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.

    * Thomas Jefferson

  • #2
    Wow, you sound like a prick.
    Ph.D., Theoretical Physics '16
    kind of a douche

    Comment


    • #3
      LOL, you had to be there sammich...
      I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.

      * Thomas Jefferson

      Comment


      • #4
        Always get people that like to come in and boast to people about how much they can lift but can't today for whatever reason.

        I'm not the most approachable person in the world so i dont tend to get that but it always makes me laugh when i hear one guy obviously chatting shit to someone whilst they nod politeley and say stuff like "wow dude thats awesome. my best is only bla bla bla".

        Don't feed their ego. You did the right thing. That guy might think twice now before coming in and trying to bullshit people.

        Comment


        • #5
          Ive got a similar story to that. Last year im in the gym doing deads. Ive got 435 on the bar and im doing like two or three sets with it. Next to me is this skinny fat know it all that always makes it a point to dish out advice when none asked him for it. So he is in the squat rack doing curls. In between my sets he says to me " I used to deadlift but my back is bothering me and I just do barbell rows, but I use 315 on 'em". So I say "wow what are you like 180? Thats alot of weight". So couple of days later I see him performing the said rows. He puts 315 on the bar and proceeds to perform the most god awful set of shrugs. So I say to him " you working your traps today?", he responds " no man im working my back doing barbell rows". To which I respond "you know they are called bent over rows for a reason ". He goes "yeah I know my torso is a little more upright than usual, but I feel em' better that way". So I hinted at the fact that maybe his version of the bb row hurt his back and not the deadlifts, but by the look on his face it clearly went over his head.

          Comment


          • #6
            I'm surprised you let it bother you that much.

            Comment


            • #7
              Were it not for the possibility that he would likely hurt himself (the ego has a powerful grip most of the time), it would have been fun to spot him through a workout and see how creative he might have become.

              800lb benches
              1100 lb deadlifts
              150lb DB curls
              405lb skull crushers
              405lb OH pressing



              -S
              The Book Has Arrived!
              The Book Has Arrived!

              Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a pristine, well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, used up, worn out, and shouting, "Holy #$&^%$^... What a ride!!!"


              www.TrueNutrition.com

              2012 NPC Master's Nationals HW 5th. Mid-USA HW & Overall
              2010 NPC Jr. USA HW 4th, Pacific USA Heavy 2nd
              2009 NPC Mr. Arizona HW & Overall, Jr. Nationals HW 16th, Smoked at USA's

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              • #8
                The 405 skull crushers would have been fun to watch, nothing like tearing apart an elbow and having the bar slam right on his head.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Nice!!
                  "SET NO LIMITS"

                  "When the knees hurt you just wrap tighter."-Skip

                  2015 NPC Supplement Express:
                  2014 NPC Sun City Regional:
                  2013 NPC Sun City Classic:
                  2010 NPC Virginia Grand Prix:
                  2002 NPC Western Carolina:
                  2002 NPC North Carolina State:

                  Use Discount Code MMH353..

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                  • #10
                    the suited record is 1260 by donnie right?
                    and the raw is 1000 with wilkerson...

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by thetim View Post
                      the suited record is 1260 by donnie right?
                      and the raw is 1000 with wilkerson...

                      I am completely unsure...but when I mentioned it, he was clueless...which I figured he would be. I could have said 900lbs and he wouldn't have known. I threw out some numbers I was aware of lol
                      I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.

                      * Thomas Jefferson

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by FRANK_KOVACIC View Post
                        I'm surprised you let it bother you that much.
                        Its the damn principle of the thing.
                        I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.

                        * Thomas Jefferson

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Being on a TRADOC post, I get these privates who come in with their wife beaters on and do everything at half rep form and with way to much weight. I have to look away sometimes because I just know they’re going to hurt themselves.
                          "SET NO LIMITS"

                          "When the knees hurt you just wrap tighter."-Skip

                          2015 NPC Supplement Express:
                          2014 NPC Sun City Regional:
                          2013 NPC Sun City Classic:
                          2010 NPC Virginia Grand Prix:
                          2002 NPC Western Carolina:
                          2002 NPC North Carolina State:

                          Use Discount Code MMH353..

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I'm at TRADOC as well for the time being.

                            You mean like the 95lb good mornings while staring at the floor and rounding their back... /horror lol
                            I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.

                            * Thomas Jefferson

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Powerliar....hahaha..love that term.

                              Please tell me he isnt Active Duty....rather just 'some guy' that lifts on base?

                              -slide
                              "When you guys get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy."

                              "Carry 24/7 or guess right."

                              "There are only two kinds of people that understand Marines: Marines and the enemy. Everyone else has a second-hand opinion."

                              "993 yo f9t[n9y[I8itineraryBMiy v][/t u 98 oh 99 u]y8y u[/hy jyip NH j o have I h"

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