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  • need some help!!

    a friend of mine (prob the sweetest gorl I have ever met) is having some weight issues she is 5'3 and weighs 104lbs! she has had wieght issues in the past and are becomming apparent again! she is such a perfectionist it kills me, but she is overly obsessed. she runs (or does cardio ) seven days a week, she will not give this up!! on top of it all she eats only about 30g carbs a day :angry: she burns roughly 1,000 cals a day form cardio. on average she runs or does cardio 2 hours a day! on top of some light excercise, she knows she has a problem and is willing to let me help her. she does eat a fair amount of calories already but still loses weight! nextr time she goes to the doctor she has to weigh 111lbs at least. what I need to know is how many calories a day do you think she should be eating...obviously her metabolism is not slow by any means! she is getting over her fear of carbs, which is good, just looking for a rough idea of how many calories/carbs would be good for her! any input would be great

    much appreciated

    Hammer


    "nothing tastes as good as being lean feels"

  • #2
    Hammer, I had a very good freind on mine who had some very bad eating disorderes since she was a child. She was 35 when I met here and she was 99 lbs at 5'4". She would do cardio 2 hours a day and run 5 miles a day.

    She never liked to lift weights at all because she thought that the muscle mass would make her gain to much weight, I worked very hard on her to change her thinking and it was the toughest thing I think I ever did in my life.

    Not only was she Anorectic but Bulemic also, I worked on her for months to try to help her and she was able to gain 11 lbs, she was a very dear freind of mine but in the end she past away due to a blockage in her throat...
    "That damn log book"

    www.trueprotein.com Highest quality protein at the lowest price...

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    • #3
      i'm sorry to hear that IH. eating disorders can be scary and they are very tough to deal with. don't give up on her hammer
      My style is impetuous, my defense is impregnable. I'm unna eat your style, i'm unna eat your style's kids.

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      • #4
        Sorry to hear about that IH.
        Anyone can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right
        person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose,
        and in the right way, that is not easy.
        -- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

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        • #5
          Hammer and IH,

          Sorry to hear about both your friends.

          Hammer, I would try to get her some professional help. This is what she really needs, as she has an addiction(s) that can indeed kill her. In a way, her life is at stake.

          It would depend upon the shrink / counselor's evaluation, but for her, re-channeling her desire for an ideal physique away from the waify look and more towards one that will dictate a healthier approach to diet and exercise might be helpful. What does she think of Monica Brandt's physique?... Has she been to a figure show?... Although the competitive figure standards are a bit strange, it seems that this might be a healthier "addiction" than the one she has now.

          Again, go w/ professional help, IMO...

          -R
          The Book Has Arrived!
          The Book Has Arrived!

          Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a pristine, well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, used up, worn out, and shouting, "Holy #$&^%$^... What a ride!!!"


          www.TrueNutrition.com

          2012 NPC Master's Nationals HW 5th. Mid-USA HW & Overall
          2010 NPC Jr. USA HW 4th, Pacific USA Heavy 2nd
          2009 NPC Mr. Arizona HW & Overall, Jr. Nationals HW 16th, Smoked at USA's

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          • #6
            Definate proffessional help.
            Why does she need to weigh in at 111 lbs for the doc? Where does that come from? She could easily gain it for the doctor & then loose it in a matter of days after.
            Ummmm, 104 lbs is not small....only slighly less than me.

            But if she's doing that much cardio, she may need more cals &/or protien. Maybe just add a shake a day.

            What's her diet look like?

            What is she willing to have you help her with?

            Maybe I'm missing something. Def need more info.
            Kid's Wench :flex: and Bon-Bon's sis
            Ask me about FitnessXLOnline.com
            www.TrueProtein.com
            *use FXL222 for a discount on your 1st purchase




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            • #7
              What everyone said is good..Pros are pros for a reason(physicians) Anyway, I think it is important to tell her the type of body you think is attractive. Being a friend, this might help a little. Let's not forget that carbs are not bad by any means and I still think and by research the best diet for overall health(maybe not extreme bbing, cause we aint healthy yo) is fairly rich in complex(that's becoming outdated) carbs abnd /or a meditaranen(spelling?) diet. So, you guys can discuss this and maybe you can alter your approach a bit as well.tough one.

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              • #8
                IH...I am so sorry to hear about your friend! My heart got tugged at big time when I read that.

                Hammer.....well, first 5'3" 104 lbs is really not that small. I use to weigh less than a 100 and I'm only 5'2" BUT.....she does sound like she's very lean with all the cardio that she is doing and that is probably why her doctor wants her to gain weight the next time she visits. What everyone said, she does need professional help, but sometimes they may not want to go get help and looks like she has come to you for help because she trusts you. Be very sensitive and compassionate and really show her how much you care. Encourage her to start lifting some weights to add some muscle onto her frame. Slowly adding in more calories as she'll need it. Please keep me posted on your friend. I'm very concern.

                Comment


                • #9
                  hammer -

                  Wow, I could compare her to me! Right now I tend to fluctuate between 114 & 118 lbs. It took me a long time to figure out the right way to eat & excercise. Society is so focused on overweight people & their eating habits & very rarely focus on eating habits of the average healthy person. While overweight people are cutting carbs & calories, the people with the thinner physiques are left to figure out what the proper diet for them should be.

                  If she is 5'3, 104 is too thin for sure. Too be at an average weight for her height 111 lbs is right at the bottom of that scale. My advice would be to encourage her to read some of these message boards. I know I've learned alot about diet on this board & on another I go to from time to time. She needs to understand what she's eating & where the calories come from. Once she figures that out & gets past the fact that you can eat all day & still look fit & trim, I think she'll be fine. You just have to convince her that you can look awesome at 120lbs. I mean look at some of these women on this board!

                  I don't know her, but IMO I don't think she's at the point of needing professional help unless she's actually really binging & purging.

                  IH, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I'm sure she appreciated all you did for her. So many people in this world would have just said "oh poor thing" and not tried to help. At least you did & I think that's awesome. It says alot about your character.
                  Greek women, we may be lambs in the kitchen, but we are tigers in the bedroom.


                  MOD @ www.proactivehealthnet.com

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                  • #10
                    kind of busy right now, but will reply in detail later, thanks everyone, and 104 is thin!! not real bad, but she did at one time weigh 79lbs, about a year ago, and I just don't want her heading in that direction once again>


                    Hammer


                    "nothing tastes as good as being lean feels"

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by KidRok's Lady
                      Definate proffessional help.
                      Why does she need to weigh in at 111 lbs for the doc?
                      You need to understand that these people who try to help them they just push them out of their life, they do not want help thats how they got into these situations, my freind was at the point where she hated me but I was not going to give in, and I was on here every day, not a nagging point but a concerned point.

                      It is bestilled in their head just like some of us BBers that this ain't right or that ain't right, hell I was fat obese pig my whole life at times over 320 lbs of pure lard and now I have worked on my body for 25 years and I still see a fat pig, it drives my GF crazy but it is in your head you just can't break it, and to go and see a doc about this really means you have a problem and who wants that in their face. I understand that yes a doc would have been the best thing but not everyone will just up and go get help, these are adults we are dealing with here...
                      "That damn log book"

                      www.trueprotein.com Highest quality protein at the lowest price...

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by american idol
                        hammer -
                        I don't know her, but IMO I don't think she's at the point of needing professional help unless she's actually really binging & purging.
                        AI,

                        I'm puzzled by this. So, unless she is a bulimic, she doesn't need professional help?... Anorexia nervosa or an exercise addiction never require professional help?...

                        IH makes a good point - forcing a Doc on her will likely meet w/ some resistance. "Professional" help can come in many forms, too. A reg. MD will likely have no idea what to do. Even many psychiatrists will not be able to help, even if they specialize in OCD's, disordered eating, etc. Finding a helpful professional for these kinds of things is a bitch and a half - the patient / therapist match is what's tough, I think. (I have a relative who has been in and out of mental institutions practically all his life.)

                        Hammer, I would still try to do your part by investigating professional help for her, if you can, or at least seeking out whatever resources are available. There may be an AA style group near you, or maybe a professional of some sort (maybe even a trainer who herself has battled this kind of thing). This is huge to try to tackle your own. If I were you, I would try to get as much help as possible...

                        Good luck, Bro. Keep us updated!

                        -R
                        The Book Has Arrived!
                        The Book Has Arrived!

                        Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a pristine, well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, used up, worn out, and shouting, "Holy #$&^%$^... What a ride!!!"


                        www.TrueNutrition.com

                        2012 NPC Master's Nationals HW 5th. Mid-USA HW & Overall
                        2010 NPC Jr. USA HW 4th, Pacific USA Heavy 2nd
                        2009 NPC Mr. Arizona HW & Overall, Jr. Nationals HW 16th, Smoked at USA's

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          R-, My freind was in this from 11 til she was 38, and when I met her family even they could not do anything, when they treatened DR to her she ran away from them at 16 to do her own thing...
                          "That damn log book"

                          www.trueprotein.com Highest quality protein at the lowest price...

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            she does not bings and purge, she is def ocd, to hte extreme, and very confused about nutrition...very low caRB AND ALL THAT BULLSHIT! she does want my help..at least I think, so I will attempt to guide her in the right direction for now and then explore other options


                            Hammer


                            "nothing tastes as good as being lean feels"

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by homonunculus
                              AI,

                              I'm puzzled by this. So, unless she is a bulimic, she doesn't need professional help?... Anorexia nervosa or an exercise addiction never require professional help?...

                              IH makes a good point - forcing a Doc on her will likely meet w/ some resistance. "Professional" help can come in many forms, too. A reg. MD will likely have no idea what to do. Even many psychiatrists will not be able to help, even if they specialize in OCD's, disordered eating, etc. Finding a helpful professional for these kinds of things is a bitch and a half - the patient / therapist match is what's tough, I think. (I have a relative who has been in and out of mental institutions practically all his life.)

                              Hammer, I would still try to do your part by investigating professional help for her, if you can, or at least seeking out whatever resources are available. There may be an AA style group near you, or maybe a professional of some sort (maybe even a trainer who herself has battled this kind of thing). This is huge to try to tackle your own. If I were you, I would try to get as much help as possible...

                              Good luck, Bro. Keep us updated!

                              -R

                              Ok, sorry about that....let me restate that. I know she doesn't have to be binging or purging to be in need of help. But, IMHO being 104 lbs isn't really too thin for her height. Yes, it is underweight. Yes, overexercising is a problem that does require professional help if it can't be controlled. To me though, it sounded like her problem was also her diet, not just the excersise. If she is anything like me, it's hard to gain weight. Those protien shakes & just eating a piece of fruit between meals does so much.

                              With that being said, I did not realize she used to weigh only 79lbs a year ago. She obviously has had to battle this problem and sounds like she's making great progress. If she is continuing to make progress, then great. Unfortunately she will probably have to fight this battle for years. The only way she can overcome it is with support. If she starts to fall back again, then I would think professional help would be best.
                              Greek women, we may be lambs in the kitchen, but we are tigers in the bedroom.


                              MOD @ www.proactivehealthnet.com

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