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  • Mentoring??

    I posted this originally on GF, but wanted to see what y'all thought as well:

    I have read many posts wherein quite a few people have stated plainly that if someone approaches them at the gym to ask for advice or engage in conversation that they more or less tell them to fuck off (perhaps not in those exact words - but the end result is the same) or just tune them out entirely.

    I took roughly a month off recently and only got back to the gym this monday past. Now mind you, I work out a ballys. Not even a premier type club, mine is one of the ratty basic types ie: No pool, no track, no raquet ball - just weights. While struggling through my first chest and tri workout in what felt like ages I had 4 or 5 people come up to me and ask how I managed to maintain so well, what my workout schedule was like, etc, etc . . . some just wanted to know where I'd been - asking me if Id finally switched to powerhouse.

    It occured to me then that I was more than likely the most experienced/developed guy in there on a regular basis (which says VERY little for my club if you ask me), and given that, I was inadvertantly a mentor to many of the guys training there.

    There in lies the root of this thread. I really believe that we ALL, as experienced and knowledgeable as we are, have a fundemental responsibility as ambassadors of our sport/lifestyle to do all we can to present it in the best light possible. More than that, I remember how hard it was for me when I started training to learn what exercises to do and even HOW to do them. The little "tricks" are not something you can pick up by covertly watching someones reflection through the four mirror refraction technique - although that DOES work SPLENDIDLY for checking out hooties !! I will always take the time to answer questions, hell, even demonstrate exercises if need be just so people will look at bbers as normal, friendly folks - not to mention possibly influencing someone in positive way. Our community can always use a new, dedicated recruit after all.

    So, all macho bullshit aside. IN TRUTH, how many of you take the time to work with the people around you when they ask? How many of you really let your guard down and give advice freely when asked - even to that snobby little buck and a quarter bastard in the wife beater? Or do you really perpetuate the stereo type of all BBers being assholes and completely unapproachable?

  • #2
    nice post bigmike. I will help anyone in the gym that asks me a question. I enjoy helping people when they ask questions on how to use a machine or watching their form on an exercise.

    A couple of days ago I was watching a teenage boy, his dad, and a guy who was a regular member at the gym doing squats.

    I was embarassed that the guy that who comes to the gym all of the time was letting this kid squat with the worst form I've ever seen. His feet were about 6 inches apart and every time he squatted down (about a foot deep) his right knee would buckle inward and his foot would roll inward so that the outside of his foot would come off the floor.

    I watched two sets of this and was convinced that this kid was gonna hurt himself. I walked up to his dad and suggested (politely) that his son widen his stance and keep his feet flat on the floor or he would risk hurting himself.

    They thanked me for my help, so I'm glad I said something.

    That's my good deed for the week!


    • #3
      I help those who are serious and want to listen to anothers point of view based on yrs of experience and achievement. ALWAYS! I do have a raw spot from being asked a very basic Q and then the point being argued, all in the middle of my training. That dont get it w/ me. Dont ask me about something you know nothing about, then tell me Im wrong.

      As a kid I went up to the biggest guy in my gym and aske dhim how to get big. He told me....lift heavy eat everything in site, and stay the fuck out of my way and you might get big. I did just that, but I always told myself, If I was ever in his place I would never be like that, and I havent..
      (pronounced: Swet-Mow-Sheen)

      That which we manifest lies before us.


      • #4
        GREAT post, bigmike, I couldn't agree more with your perspective.

        There are two main types of guys on the boards here:

        Guys that put on their headphones, tune the rest of the world out, can't possibly have any conversation or even say "hi" to anyone as this might take them out of their "zone". They can't possibly act normal as they are ANIMALS when they are in the gym and you had better know to stay away as they are badasses and no one trains with their intensity or commitment. They "get in and get out with no bullshit". These are the same guys that couldn't possibly take their kids to the gym daycare because that would be compromising their mental focus and God forbid that they are called to the daycare to change a diaper- that kid will sit in his shit for an hour because "wanna be animal dad" simply isn't finished training yet.

        Then there are the guys who actually enjoy their fucking training. They enjoy the friendships of other members who support them during contest prep and always have a smile, compliment or pat on the back when the carbs are low. Yeah, these same guys sometimes want a tip or two on why you do a movement a certain way or why you train calves with no shoes. These guys are not willing to put their training aside but are more than willing to give advice in a pleasant and helpful way. These guys set positive examples by saying "hi" to everyone they pass without having to engage in an hour long discussion. It is these guys that are helping to move the sport ahead and change the perception of the dipshitted, dumbassed, narcissistic bodybuilder.

        I DISPISE the former and I strive for the latter.


        Facebook: Skip Hill
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        Use discount code "SKIP" and get your TEAM SKIP protein here:


        • #5
          oooooh, very well put!
          (pronounced: Swet-Mow-Sheen)

          That which we manifest lies before us.


          • #6
            Skip, nice post.

            I think it takes even MORE mental focus to be able to flip the switch, so to speak. Turn it on to get the job done with your set and turn it off when its appropriate.

            This means being pleasant at the water fountain, allowing ladies to go first (which affords the best view, too), always asking nicely to work in, etc.

            I always spending a little time with the guy who asks the question, and then politely tell them that its time to get back to work. I often offer to talk to them after my workout, if I'll have time. I not, I tell 'em that I'm in on the weekends (often true) and will have more time after my workout then. IF they persist, I give 'em a bizness card.

            Only a couple pet peeves as far as questions go:
            -"How much weight is that?" or other similar questions (that are easily answered) asked RIGHT AFTER a set when I'm barely able to breath, am on the brink of regurgitation and have my headphones blaring, tend to kind of annoy.
            -Questions asked DURING or just before a set. E.g., I'm sitting on a bench, 100+lb DB's in my hands, headphones blaring, focus downward and obviously "inward," and I'm breathing deeply - not the time to ask me if that's all I do for chest.

            The above would, for instance, never happen out on a track if you saw a guy in a speed suit, spikes, Oakley Blades, who's running a 10.1 100m dash off of blocks.

            Do you walk up to this guy when he's in the block and ask him how fast he's gonna run?... LOL. Or maybe scream at him as he runs by, "how can I get as fast as you?..." LMAO.

            Of course, if its a hot chick (let me dream for a minute), I stop everything and go into Mac Daddy Mode.

            The Book Has Arrived!
            The Book Has Arrived!

            Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a pristine, well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, used up, worn out, and shouting, "Holy #$&^%$^... What a ride!!!"


            2012 NPC Master's Nationals HW 5th. Mid-USA HW & Overall
            2010 NPC Jr. USA HW 4th, Pacific USA Heavy 2nd
            2009 NPC Mr. Arizona HW & Overall, Jr. Nationals HW 16th, Smoked at USA's


            • #7
              Mac Daddy mode huh! LOL!

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              • #8
                Some interesting thoughts here for sure...Its weird because in the Corps, out of courtesy, you say good morning (etc) to everyone and that hasnt stopped, even with me getting out. Alot of people look at me funny, but what does that say about "our" society. Life is too short...

                I help whenever I can..I think its the least I can do with the little knowledge that I have. Same principle applies with all you guys answering my questions...theres no difference..If you can take a minute or two to help someone out, why not do it (provided youre not in mid-set)?

                "When you guys get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy."

                "Carry 24/7 or guess right."

                "There are only two kinds of people that understand Marines: Marines and the enemy. Everyone else has a second-hand opinion."

                "993 yo f9t[n9y[I8itineraryBMiy v][/t u 98 oh 99 u]y8y u[/hy jyip NH j o have I h"


                • #9
                  I don't have that problem as there are guys in my gym that are bigger than me. No big deal to me, as this allows me to take care of business and get gone. Maybe it's curbed slightly by the fact that I wear pants and t-shirt (nothing cutoff).
                  "Well done is better than well said"