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The Cowboy and the Yuppie

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    ctgblue
    Heavyweight Member

  • ctgblue
    replied
    A man walks into a Silicon Valley pet store looking to buy a monkey.
    The store owner points toward three identical monkeys in politically-correct, animal-friendly, natural mini-habitats. "The
    one on the left cost $500," says the store owner. "Why so much?" asks the customer. "Because it can program in C," answers the store owner.
    The customer inquires about the next monkey and is told, "That one cost $1500, because it knows Visual C++ and
    Object-Relational technology."
    The startled man then asks about the third monkey. "That one costs $3000," answers the store owner. "3000 dollars!!"
    exclaims the man. "What can that one do?"
    To which the owner replies, "To be honest, I've never seen it do a single thing, but it calls itself a 'Consultant'."

    Leave a comment:

  • american idol
    Heavyweight Member

  • american idol
    replied
    bwaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha! very funny TLM. n

    I needed that!

    Leave a comment:

  • Creator_11
    IntenseMuscle Tech

  • Creator_11
    replied
    nice!

    Leave a comment:

  • GetnBigr
    IM Veteran Member

  • GetnBigr
    replied
    LMAO!!!! that's good one!! I'll have to send it to all the consultants that my company has hired.

    Leave a comment:

  • TheLil'Missus
    Heavyweight Member

  • TheLil'Missus
    started a topic The Cowboy and the Yuppie

    The Cowboy and the Yuppie

    COWBOY AND THE YUPPIE


    A cowboy was herding his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

    The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

    The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.

    He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

    Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."

    "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

    Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly What your business is, will you give me back my animal?"

    The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

    "You're a consultant." says the cowboy. Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

    "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew; to a question I never asked; and you don't know anything about my business.
    Now, give me back my dog!
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