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The Cowboy and the Yuppie

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  • The Cowboy and the Yuppie


    A cowboy was herding his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

    The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

    The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.

    He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

    Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."

    "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

    Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly What your business is, will you give me back my animal?"

    The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

    "You're a consultant." says the cowboy. Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

    "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew; to a question I never asked; and you don't know anything about my business.
    Now, give me back my dog!
    "The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem." -
    Theodore Rubin

    Mod @ Proactivehealthnet

  • #2
    LMAO!!!! that's good one!! I'll have to send it to all the consultants that my company has hired.
    "Well done is better than well said"



    • #3
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      • #4
        bwaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha! very funny TLM. n

        I needed that!
        Greek women, we may be lambs in the kitchen, but we are tigers in the bedroom.

        MOD @


        • #5
          A man walks into a Silicon Valley pet store looking to buy a monkey.
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          exclaims the man. "What can that one do?"
          To which the owner replies, "To be honest, I've never seen it do a single thing, but it calls itself a 'Consultant'."
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