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Things You'd Love To Say Out Loud At Work

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  • Things You'd Love To Say Out Loud At Work

    THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK, BUT DON'T DARE

    1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
    2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
    3. How about never? Is NEVER good for you?
    4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
    5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
    6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
    7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
    8. I don't work here, I'm a consultant.
    9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
    10. Ahhh . . I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
    11. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
    12. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
    13. Thank you. We're challenged by your unique point of view.
    14. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
    15. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?
    16. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
    17. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
    18. Do I look like a people person?
    19. This isn't an office it's HELL with fluorescent lighting.
    20. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
    21. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
    22. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
    23. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
    24. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
    25. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
    26. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
    27. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
    28. Chaos, panic, and disorder --- my work here is done.
    29. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
    30. Oh I get it... like humor... but different.



  • #2
    GREAT POST , Thanks !
    Stay Hard and Get Huge !


    Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius , power and magic in it. Begin it now. - Goethe

    Comment


    • #3
      I like 21 and 29.
      "Well done is better than well said"

      :rocker:



      Comment


      • #4
        Number 24 is so true.

        Comment


        • #5
          MM, Come to my work place, I will teach you how to say those plus much more, its nice to be feared and respected at work, even by the higher ups...
          "That damn log book"

          www.trueprotein.com Highest quality protein at the lowest price...

          Comment


          • #6
            I know some of these are repeats, but I'm too busy to edit the list

            1. Ahhh...I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again...
            2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
            3. How about never? Is never good for you?
            4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
            5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
            6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
            7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
            8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
            9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
            10. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
            11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
            12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
            13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
            14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
            15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
            16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
            17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
            18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
            19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
            20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
            21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
            22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
            23. No, my powers can only be used for good.
            24. You sound reasonable... Time to up the medication.
            25. Who me? I just wander from room to room
            26. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
            27. Do I look like a people person?
            28. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
            29. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
            31. You!... Off my planet!
            32. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
            33. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
            34. A PBS mind in an MTV world.
            35. Allow me to introduce my selves.
            36. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
            37. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
            38. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
            40. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
            41. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
            42. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
            43. Can I trade this job for what's behind door 1?
            44. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
            45. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
            46. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
            47. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
            48. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted the paychecks.
            49. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
            50. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
            Lift big 2 get big
            TrueProtein.com Use discount code ctg001 for additional savings on already great prices
            mod at bodybuilding.com
            mod at iron-forum.com
            mod at melanoplanet.com

            Obesity related illness will account for more than 1/2 of all health care costs in the next few years.
            So why is the damn government waging war on the FITNESS Industry??
            "Before you criticize someone, try walking a mile in their shoes.
            Because, then you're a mile away, AND you've got their shoes"

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            • #7
              And - in the spirit---

              YOU KNOW YOU'RE TOO STRESSED IF...

              1.Relatives who have been dead for years come visit you and suggest that you should get some rest.
              2.You can achieve a "runner's high" by sitting up.
              3.You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
              4.The sun is too loud.
              5.Trees begin chasing you.
              6.You can see individual air molecules vibrating.
              7.You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an IV drip solution of espresso.
              8.You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee.
              9.You can hear mimes.
              10.You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly.
              11.Things become "Very Clear."
              12.You ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go.
              13.The less sense matter and matter is more than sense.
              14.You begin speaking in a language that only you and Channelers can understand.
              15.You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
              16.You keep yelling "STOP TOUCHING ME!!!" even though you are the only one in the room.
              17.Your heart beats in 7/8 time.
              18.David Lynch wants to base a new TV show on you.
              19.You and Reality file for divorce.
              20.It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code. although, if you go to MIT, this is not out of the ordinary) (Caltech too!).
              21.You have great revelations concerning: Life, the Universe, and Everything else, but can't quite find the words for them before the white glow disappears, leaving you more confused than before.
              22.You can travel without moving.
              23.Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.
              24.You discover the aesthetic beauty of school supplies.
              25.You begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about the subject, get into a nasty row over it, lose, and refuse to speak to yourself for the rest of the night.
              26.Teddy bears begin to bully you for milk and cookies.
              27.You have an irresistible urge to bite the noses of the people you are talking to.
              Lift big 2 get big
              TrueProtein.com Use discount code ctg001 for additional savings on already great prices
              mod at bodybuilding.com
              mod at iron-forum.com
              mod at melanoplanet.com

              Obesity related illness will account for more than 1/2 of all health care costs in the next few years.
              So why is the damn government waging war on the FITNESS Industry??
              "Before you criticize someone, try walking a mile in their shoes.
              Because, then you're a mile away, AND you've got their shoes"

              Comment


              • #8
                Some of that stuff used to accidently, (on purpose) just slip out at times...its all so true!
                Heckman aka "WISE" OLD MAN

                Comment


                • #9
                  there is truth behind all of those!
                  "Well done is better than well said"

                  :rocker:



                  Comment


                  • #10
                    All good stuff. Love it.
                    CrossFit Champions
                    Champions Combat Arts

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by In-Human
                      MM, Come to my work place, I will teach you how to say those plus much more, its nice to be feared and respected at work, even by the higher ups...
                      I am the Office Linebacker in at my work.


                      Learned all my moves from the great terry tate himself................. :flex:


                      "Sandy you need to put a memo on your TPS reports biatch!!!! damn!!!"
                      Official Web Designer of Intensemuscle.com :peace:

                      Advocate for Socially Relevant Search Engine -http://theenginuity.com

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