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I am broken

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  • I am broken

    But I can't be. I am hurting so bad and have to vent somewhere...I can't on facebook for obvious reasons and I can't to my wife or family cause I have to be the strong one...I have to help her. That's my job. My job is to protect my family and someone is trying to rip it appart.

    My son was born feb 4th... we decided that in the begining I would stay home with him, it was logical based on jobs, careers, benefits, etc... we did not want a daycare raising our son so i have been with him just about every second of his life.... on wednsday of this week his birth mother said she wants him back....

    Rewind-in november a friend of a friend approached us and asked if we would be interested in adopting the baby she was carrying (she informed us that she has attempted to abort his on three different occasions, we don't know the details but she did say that the last time she was sick and said they told her to come back)...being that we want nothing more than a family...we said we would... as time went by she got to the point that she said she was sure and wanted us to have him. We remained scared cause we did not know what would happen at birth. She asked us to be there-my wife was in the delivery room-she had my in-laws come to the hospital and meet the boy we named...she put my name on the birth certificate and gave him my last name...we took him home from the hospital on feb 6th...she is staying with the mutual friend that lives next door to us... she brought over cloths from her other child, brought over formula...spoke of how happy she was with her decision. ... txt us, posted fb msgs, etc... about how happy she was and how we were helping her...she had a one year old, a ten year old and was staying at our mutual friends house with her boyfriend (who is believed to be the father).. she has nothing... she sent my wife msgs a cpl weeks ago asking if she had the papers for her to sign yet... now this...
    I have looked my son in the eyes, told him how much I love him, that I will never leave him and that I would do anything for him....I have to keep my word!
    We hired a lawyer and he says we have an over 50% chance...he is arguing basically that the adoption was complete and the papers were basically a formality....poor analogy but kinda like if I sell you a car but don't have the title to sign when I sell it to you BUT I post about the sale oon FB, txt you about the car, talk about how happy I am that I sold you the car, etc...then call the cops and say you stole my car cause I never signed the title...I know that is not a great analogy or example but that is kinda the idea... that everything was done and agreed upon and the papers are not even needed.
    She has been postibg all over her facebook page now about how we took her child, we have no chance, her family is making threatening comments towards my wife (I DONT want to hurt her kids but I am gonna HAVE TO getva restraining order and they will be homeless) she is talkibg about the papers the lawyer served her with not even understanding what they say. This is the same woman that called the cops and had her boyfriend removed from the home the nt before she gave birth...

    Can we win? Our lawyer seems to believe we have a real good chance but no matter what-my son deserves to be fought for...I am trying to save his life here. I feel shattered....I cry every time I am alone...I have no clue what I would do. I can't let her ruin this child... he holds his arms out if I go near him, just for me. He knows my voice and it calms him...

    I don't know why I'm even typing this here...probably cause no one KNOWS me... there is no need for replies I jyst had to get it out somewhere.
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  • #2
    Crazy situation Dun, I hope things work out in your favor.
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    • #3
      Keep your chin up for the little man Dun.
      Document everything she ever said (good and bad) screen shots, save the texts, save voicemail if any. All will help in court.(this is clearly obvious advice, but people dont sometimes take screen shots of facebook stuff). get the [olice report of her getting BF evicted day before birth.
      Your going to have to dig deep dude and try to find ways shes been a sht mother. I know this is very difficult and I may seem out of order, but if YOU truly believe this Child is better off without her then do everything you can for him. You need evidence, hard evidence of neglect.
      This is to protect a child.

      Ive met women like her before.
      "oh you are the best, thank you so much"
      1 day later
      "YOUR A MONSTER..insert lie after lie here" basically to cover up your own guilt and insecurity.

      Good luck Dun. I'll keep my fingers crossed (and toes)


      • #4
        One can only imagine what you are going through Dun. Good luck Brother.


        • #5
          I can't even imagine Dun. Your family is in my thoughts and I hope things work out.

          Like you said, your wife needs you to be the strong one; I commend you on recognizing that and having the courage to take on that responsibility. Remind her that there is a chance things will work out, and she needs to hold onto that hope and fight for it with everything she has; face the alternative when it comes, if it ever does.

          I can't remember if you are a religious man or not, but the old saying goes: Pray to God, but row for the shore.
          Last edited by Macho Man; 03-15-2013, 07:45 PM.
          2010 NPC North Star


          • #6
            Dun, I don't really have much to offer in terms of advice aside from doing your best to comfort your wife as you work through this together. You are both going to need someone to confide in from time to time and you will be stronger as one rather than two individuals.

            I wish you the best Dun. I'll be thinking of you big guy.
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            • #7
              Your family is in my prayers. Fight for that little guy.
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              • #8
                Sorry to hear that. It seems like if there is any justice the law will be on your side. Good luck.
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                • #9
                  Ph.D., Theoretical Physics '16
                  kind of a douche


                  • #10

                    I think your lawyer is being rightfully cautious weighing in your chances, but from what you write, it seems clear that you are able to offer the more stable environment. She has an attempted abortion history and has gone back and forth with wanting to keep the child.

                    It's all about your son's welfare and I suspect you'll do anything to do what's right and best for him. I hope the courts see that, too.

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                    • #11
                      You're a tenacious, stubborn sonofabitch...I'm confident you'll do all that is necessary.

                      Thoughts and blessings go out to you, brotha.
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                      • #12
                        Sorry to hear Dun, I will keep you in my thoughts and hope all turns out for the best. Keep strong!
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                        • #13
                          Hey Dun-
                          from a professional standpoint heres what i can tell you,for the last 30 years states have really tried hard to reunite biological parents with children which in many cases has had absolutely disasterous the last 5-10 years there has been a much greater focus on whats in the best interest of the child. This should work in your favor....thoughts and prayers brother.
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                          • #14
                            Good Lord. Best of luck to you and your family.
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                            • #15
                              Dun - I'll keep you in my prayers man.......that's a tough situation.....I can't even imagine.