so what would you do?

[thedunhill225]

so on the news I hear that sandusky has been given the right to visit his grandchildren... WAIT, THIS IS NOT A PENNSTATE THREAD BUT JUST INVOLVES SANDUSKY AS THE EXAMPLE... so the question is this... who would let him near their child? If a loved one of yours was involved in a case exactly the same as sanduskys with everything being the exact same...would you let them near your child? Am I the crazy one? If it was my father, brother, cousin, uncle, etc... I would not care who they were...they would not be allowed by a child of mine. I just dont get it. I get innocent until proven guilty but who would take the chance?

[Jared Ragsdale]

If it were my Dad, I wouldn't believe that he was guilty unless I had suspected otherwise for a while.

So I guess that is probably what is going on in this situation.

[mateus]

I am with ya, I think. Not sure that I would know 100% until having to deal with it.

[TLopez]

Tough one. But, I would be hesitant to leave my kids alone with him, or anyone with these accusations. I know you take on this already Dun, but this is the time when family is most important. You have to stand by the ones you love and give them the benefit of the doubt until the trial is over. Even then some innocent people are found guilt of crimes they didn't commit.

[thedunhill225]

Tough one. But, I would be hesitant to leave my kids alone with him, or anyone with these accusations. I know you take on this already Dun, but this is the time when family is most important. You have to stand by the ones you love and give them the benefit of the doubt until the trial is over. Even then some innocent people are found guilt of crimes they didn't commit.

thats what I dont get. I can understand if you dont believe it, good for you BUT I could never take any chance. Remember I said the EXACT circumstances as this case. His family along with all of us KNOW he is guilty as sin. To me the family I would want to protect and support would be my wife and child....thats the family thats most important. I just would not be able to stand the thought of what if....what if he DOES do something? how do you explain to your kid "well yea he was awaiting trial but he was my dad"?

[TLopez]

thats what I dont get. I can understand if you dont believe it, good for you BUT I could never take any chance. Remember I said the EXACT circumstances as this case. His family along with all of us KNOW he is guilty as sin. To me the family I would want to protect and support would be my wife and child....thats the family thats most important. I just would not be able to stand the thought of what if....what if he DOES do something? how do you explain to your kid "well yea he was awaiting trial but he was my dad"?

Completely understand.

Nothing is more important to me than the safety of my children. Maybe I can't imagine it being my father because I know how great of a person he is.

[Michael Travis]

Are the visits supervised in any way? Just curious.

[thedunhill225]

they are supposed to be but not by the court. just a parent is supposed to be present.

[Michael Travis]

I wonder if the parent is following through. I don't understand why, at the very least, the court is not mandating a social worker be present. Whether he is innocent or not (and I don't think he is innocent), these are very serious allegations involving many adolescents with crimes being alleged in multiple states (which should make this a federal case) and they're not even mandating state supervised visitation of children? I don't get that...

[steel1970]

If it were my Dad, I wouldn't believe that he was guilty unless I had suspected otherwise for a while.

So I guess that is probably what is going on in this situation.

BINGO! Unless the family had any suspicion that anything at all was happening, I'm sure they would stand behind him. Also, if the family did demand supervision, that obviously counters any claims that they made that they BELIEVE he is innocent. I would tend to think that if ones family truly believes innocence, then they feel in their heart there is no reason to worry....not to say that any family couldn't be dead wrong.....just like I believe this family is, but obviously they are blinded by their relationship with him.....

[Michael Travis]

yeah, i see what you are saying Steel. I didn't mean the family should have demanded the supervision, I was more thinking it would have been one of the stipulations of his bail or something... I don't know exactly how that stuff works, but when it comes to family, I am sure most people tend to stick with family, no matter how much evidence to the contrary is slapping them in the face.

[thedunhill225]

Well one of the mothers is protesting and arguing against it. Let's be real people...we all know he is guilty and we also all know that for this to go on this long that there were signs. I mean come on. We may dismiss a comment by a family member once, or give the benefit of the doubt on some things but there is no way someone is raised by a man like this and does not KNOW SOMETHING IS WRONG. I just don't believe it. You wanna talk about a guy that got drunk and didn't take no from a girl, maybe no sign... A dude that hooks up with a under age girl when he is maybe 20 or so, maybe no sign...but a man that did what he did...that doesn't just turn off...he is not "normal" and then goes and rapes a lill boy and is normal again after it....if anyone here knows anyone that has been convicted of a crime like this they will know what I mean.
To me a parents job is to protect their children and I'm sorry but if there was an accusation or rumor I would not let a child around that person...let alone witness testimony about what he did and charges filed.

Remember I did say same exact circumstances as THIS CASE.

[Michael Travis]

At the risk of going slightly off topic (although I think along the same lines), this type of behavior, from what I have read about previous cases is very hard (if not impossible) to be rehabilitated, meaning majority of offenders will commit again. Now, do you think it is possible for someone like this to be discriminatory? Meaning, he has the mental ability to pick and choose his victims? In other words, say he admits to his son he did things to these kids, but don't worry son, I would never do anything like that to the grandkids..

I hope that made sense.. Just wondering, I have never personally known anyone that has been accused of these things, nor have I ever known a victim, at least not one that has shared any experiences with me

[thedunhill225]

NO, they can't be cured and they will take any AVAILABLE victim they can get.

This is a problem I have with bullshit laws like "megans law"... Think about it... Ok we are gonna let you know when a sex offender moves into the area....why?.... Well so you can be extra careful...so they are dangerous? ... Sure they are...then why are they free? .... Well cause we deem them to not be a risk to the public so we let them out....but you say they are dangerous when you let me know they are close by me....well yea.... So WHY ARE THEY FREE....um.....um..... We passed megans law so relax!!

Forget for a second the fact that if the guy that killed Megan kanka (sp?) Had a good lawyer he would have walked (yea lucky for us his lawyer was either an idiot or he had a conscience...lawyer so my guess is idiot) and just realize its a law that's based on the system not being able to do its job... But sleep tight.... We have megans law!

[trucelt]

Dun is part right and part wrong....rescidivism rate for pedophiles is damn near 95% (think about it its the only crime where you have to register (photo and address is providerd to the general public), even murderers dont have to register when they move to a new town....)

the wrong part is that most either offend strangers or just family but usually not both. No cure though unless they are gotten to pretty damn young and yes there are MANY juvie sex offenders