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  • Dont seem to connect with people...

    I honestly cant, and since i transferred to a different university, i dont know anyone, im getting socially frustrated i think i will take up a hobby and do that all day and never leave

  • #2
    I have an idea....when you start looking for a hobby find something that has other people in it. Join a study group, or a club. Friends are out there you just have to search for them sometime. If all else fails I can always use another friend. Email can make good friends.
    Leslie

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    • #3
      Richard-

      Don't get frustrated just yet-the semester just started you know. Meet some people at the gym, church, -and the groups LeslieJo mentioned.
      [email protected] http://www.proactivehealthnet.com

      " We know that to err is human, but the HIV/AIDS hypothesis is one hell of a mistake"
      Dr. Kary Mullis, Nobel Prize Winner in Chemistry for inventing the Polymerase Chain Reaction


      "The fact is that you can not start off with bad science and end up with good medicine"

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      • #4
        Richard - I'll bet you most of the other students are in the same boat you are. don't become a hermit... go out, go to a club, go to the gym, go be social.... "accidentally" run into somebody to start up a conversation.
        Greek women, we may be lambs in the kitchen, but we are tigers in the bedroom.


        MOD @ www.proactivehealthnet.com

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        • #5
          Richard...sounds like me when I was that age...It does change with time though...I'll talk to anybody anywhere now, and if nobody is around, I'll talk to telephone pole...Then someone will ask me why I'm talking to a pole...j/k
          you get my drift..
          Heckman aka "WISE" OLD MAN

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          • #6
            Pick up weight-lifting. You'll probably meet people at the gym.

            I'm just kiddin, bro.

            Seriously, I was the guy in college that didn't meet as many people as I would have liked. When college was all said and done, I walked away from it with the best wife in the world and a $50,000 piece of paper that said I was trainable. It didn't turn out to be "the best time of my life" like most people think of. And, do you really want "the best part of your life" to end when you walk across that graduation stage?

            Dude, just be yourself. RELAX. Don't go overly out of your way to meet new people because it will be obvious. Just go with the flow. When you feel like saying hi to someone, say hi. When you feel like talking, talk. When you feel like not, don't. You'll meet the right people when you just be yourself.
            CrossFit Champions
            Champions Combat Arts

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            • #7
              :iagree:
              My style is impetuous, my defense is impregnable. I'm unna eat your style, i'm unna eat your style's kids.

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              • #8
                i have the same problem as you richard85. you can think of it this way, the more people you meet the more people you have to help with the homework.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by The Munster
                  Pick up weight-lifting. You'll probably meet people at the gym.

                  I'm just kiddin, bro.

                  Seriously, I was the guy in college that didn't meet as many people as I would have liked. When college was all said and done, I walked away from it with the best wife in the world and a $50,000 piece of paper that said I was trainable. It didn't turn out to be "the best time of my life" like most people think of. And, do you really want "the best part of your life" to end when you walk across that graduation stage?

                  Dude, just be yourself. RELAX. Don't go overly out of your way to meet new people because it will be obvious. Just go with the flow. When you feel like saying hi to someone, say hi. When you feel like talking, talk. When you feel like not, don't. You'll meet the right people when you just be yourself.



                  Best advice I have heard in a while. Listen to this.




                  Maverick

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                  • #10
                    :enforcer:
                    Official Web Designer of Intensemuscle.com :peace:

                    Advocate for Socially Relevant Search Engine -http://theenginuity.com

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Heckman
                      Richard...sounds like me when I was that age...It does change with time though...I'll talk to anybody anywhere now, and if nobody is around, I'll talk to telephone pole...Then someone will ask me why I'm talking to a pole...j/k
                      you get my drift..
                      Okey doke. I see something we have in common, Heck. :Phone:

                      Honest to goodness, just smile at folks. Say hi. Don't expect a full blown conversation or 'til-you-die-relationship from them. Just lighten your mood. I had no idea you guys struggled with this same crap we gals struggled with when I was hiding out, err...going to college. See the gal walking by herself? Make eye contact. Smile at her. Move along. You don't want to scare her, but you might be the only friendly face she sees all day long. She might get to where she looks forward to your smiling face every day. You never know.

                      Being a gentleman works wonders. Open that stinkin' door for a gal. Yes, there will be some that will bite your hand off for you assuming they can't do it themselves. (I've bitten a few myself) Forgive them, they know not what they are saying. If you're going to try to impress everyone with "things" you're going to have a hard time and you're going to have to keep that up to infinity. It's far easier to impress them with yourself. Then you know they like you for you, not your "things".

                      A little hint...gals are saying the EXACT things ya'll are..."all the good ones are taken", "they all only want one thing" (ok, the one thing's a bit different, but still). Heck, there's keychains and bumperstickers out there saying it!

                      Go find a hobby, get involved in co-ed sports, be nice at the gym, ask for help with work. Oh, yeah...when complimenting a gal (which we love), don't go with "great tits!" and forget about "nice ass!". Those put you in the crowd with ALL the other idiots out there. Compliment her eyes, hair, car, something besides the most obvious guy areas. It scores more points and appears that you pay attention to details, which is a good thing.

                      Hang in there. Don't give up on the semester just yet and don't give up on women and lump us all into one category. You're so young. Honestly there's plenty of time for everything you can think of. :smooch:
                      "The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem." -
                      Theodore Rubin

                      Mod @ Proactivehealthnet

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                      • #12
                        When I was in college my first year, I made a descision to meet one new person each day. That was all. A person in class, just started some small talk. Walking from class, saw someone alone, just said "hey, whats up?" However, I made sure I did this each and every day, just ONE person. Not everybody will become your buddy, or anything close to that. The thing is you will get known by a lot of people in a very short amount of time, (1 month is 30 people, quite easily) By the end of the year, I knew tons of people, they may not have been "close friends" or anything, but what tends to happen is a girl who is interested in you will ask another girl about you, and as opposed to saying "I have no idea" they will instead say "Oh, that is X, he seems like a decent guy" and it goes from there. Give iut a shot, just ONE person a day, no long talks, just small talk, unless it grows from there of course, but if you do it consistantly, it is easy, non confrontational, and in no time, you know a ton of people who...if nothing more, will at least acknolwedge you as you pass in the hallways, which sure makes you feel a lot less isolated than passing by dozens of nameless faces each day and you don't even feel like you exist.
                        Nothing is so strong as gentleness. Nothing so gentle as real strength

                        The wolf is not just an animal,but something inside you that makes you want to fight back,to come back, to be whole again

                        WOLF He stands alone always watchful, ever vigilant
                        His stature brings us courage and pride
                        He guards that which is most precious to us
                        The pathway to our souls

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                        • #13
                          Dude, thie advice that you have received here is priceless. Again, just be yourself and know, really Know, that you are not teh only one that has ever felt this way. As you can see even from just this thread its quiet teh contary. Be good to yourself Bro ! Thsi is really important too. Its so easy to think that its our "fault" that we dont "connect" with others as well as we would like to from time to time. It has nothing , NOTHING, to do with "fault" okay. You have got some good friends here and you have your training - the rest will come - just be yourself and be true to you !

                          Ps What are you studying in school ? Just curious.
                          Stay Hard and Get Huge !


                          Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius , power and magic in it. Begin it now. - Goethe

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                          • #14
                            Excellent advice, Wardog.

                            We've moved a lot and I try to do something similar where ever we move to so I feel a bit more comfortable in the new surroundings. Whether it's the neighbor gal who mows the same time we do and we started out just waving at eachother over weedeaters or the guy across the street that looks like he had a lot of tools (actual tools) so I asked to borrow a crowbar or the folks next door who have lived here forever and I asked about the previous owners.

                            Learn how to meet people now and it'll make life easier later on. Like he said, you don't have to be have each person be your best friend in the world. Just having lots of faces to say hi to when you're walking across campus makes you not feel so alone. Give it a try. :p

                            You're a nice guy, Richard. Just relax and enjoy where you are.
                            "The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem." -
                            Theodore Rubin

                            Mod @ Proactivehealthnet

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