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  • Young Guy- Need advice.

    So here's the deal. I'm 22, graduating in a week. I have a degree that I want, in Exercise Science. So far, I've applied for a few jobs around the state. (Va). No responses yet.

    Anyway, never in my life have I been so...scared? I guess that's the right word. Everyone's talking about how happy they are to be done, have a degree, etc. All I can think is- I really don't wanna leave this place. Haha. Don't wanna move to a random town by myself, without any rhyme or reason. Don't wanna leave the family, people I've grown up with, all that. Pretty much not seeing any positives at this point.

    Advice? Anyone been here before?
    TRUE PROTEIN Discount Code- CSH730

  • #2
    It's time to spread your wings and try to fly baby bird. Mom died and can't puke food back into your mouth anymore.





    The unknown can be a very scary thing for some people, as there are no guarantees. The biggest thing to keep in mind is that happiness can be found anywhere, and it should not be rated on a 1 to 10 scale. Either it is there, or it isn't. You obviously have fun in the environment you are in with your friends and family, but that doesn't mean you can't find happiness with other people, engaging in other activities, in other parts of the world. Keep an open mind and a positive outlook. Once you find something that makes you happy, drop the bullshit mentality of "I would be happier if I were doing xxxxx instead" that a lot of people have. Be always conscious of the fact that you are happy in that moment, and nothing else could possibly make you any happier than you are. It wouldn't be better, it would just be different.

    If you move, it will obviously be because you have a new job, meaning you are working at something you enjoy and the bills are paid. So, you are happy and have the biggest stressor in adult life under control. What else is there to worry about?

    You wouldn't believe the sense of relief you feel when you remove all security blankets and venture into the unknown. It makes you realize and appreciate how truly simple living a happy life is suppose to be.





    Wow, that was a random assortment of ramble.
    2010 NPC North Star

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    • #3
      MY ADVICE: never take advice from a guy with ghost nuts
      Overtraining should be one of the lowest concerns. You should focus on optimal training.
      -John Ceasar

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      • #4
        Originally posted by lhart6272 View Post
        MY ADVICE: never take advice from a guy with ghost nuts
        Actually, I fell asleep in a tanning bed with a sock on my nuts to protect my semen.


        Dick.
        2010 NPC North Star

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        • #5
          hey man, dont listen to what others are saying they are just as nervous or scared as you. I am in a similar position 25 graduating chiro school in a little over 4 months, getting married, and have no idea what direction I am headed in. Very nervous about possibly opening up my own practice or starting in another office that is in a location away from friends and family all the while trying to start a family and falling flat on my ass.

          Rest assured if you move away from your friends and family your going to a location where your making money. You will surely make some new friends that are just as good/fun as your other ones. The major thing to remember is to relax and things will fall into place, atleast thats what I keep telling myself.

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          • #6
            I'm 53. And I can remember 32 years ago feeling exactly as you do now. I was scared shitless to venture into an adult life and leave behind the security of college, my friends, and my family. I had no idea how I was going to forge myself into a confident, capable, self-sufficient, well-rounded man.

            What I can tell you is, life is an adventure and you're just starting. There will be many surprises along the way, some good and some bad.

            For me there have been numerous career changes, 2 children (one your age right now) , 2 divorces, and numerous ups and downs, personal triumphs and failures.

            The one constant in all that time? The gym. Through good times and bad, working out has always been my refuge and my grounding.

            Think about the lessons you've learned in the gym...the importance of goal-setting, consistency, hard work, careful planning. Put those principles to work as you pursue other ventures in life.

            Today, I'm about as happy as I've ever been. I'm healthy, self-employed in the fitness field, reasonably financially secure, and have a terrific girlfriend. But there were times when I wondered whether I would have any of those things.

            Every small success that you earn in life builds your confidence to go forward and work towards even more success.

            Your first step: Finding meaningful employment that allows you to pay your own way in the world 100%. The bedrock of a man's confidence is knowing that you earn your own food, shelter, and all of life's necessities and luxuries, with zero dependence on anyone else.

            So go....discover and explore your passions. Build a career that excites you; don't settle for the 9-5 grind unless that makes you happy. Be selective when it comes to choosing a life partner. Choose your friends wisely as well. Minimize drugs, alcohol and other crutches and enjoy the satisfaction that comes from following your OWN directives and not that of the common crowd.

            It's a cliche, but true: Life is what you make it.

            So go on out there and make the life you want.

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            • #7
              Thanks to all who have responded so far. I appreciate the advice, and the time it took to give it. It's very nice to give advice to someone you don't even know, much less good, solid thoughts.

              Thanks for taking the time, anyone else is welcome to chime in.
              TRUE PROTEIN Discount Code- CSH730

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              • #8
                "Follow your bliss."
                Ph.D., Theoretical Physics '16
                kind of a douche

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                • #9
                  You're definitely at a point in your life where you need to ask yourself some tough questions. Being afraid of jumping into the unknown is a fear most people who are sane have, but you can't let it be deciding factor. If you've pictured yourself years from now working in another town, meeting new people and having new adventures (sorry I sound like a hobbit) then you need to do it without fear. If you love your life how it is, where it is, then stay until the spirit moves you.

                  There are no wrong choices here. You're still young, your town isn't going anywhere if you decide it's where you belong. You might move back, you might not. Just don't let fear be a deciding factor in what you do. Bilbo out.
                  It takes work to get things done, but in reality not getting things done is a lot more painful. -Knickerbocker24

                  Start doing and believing in the stuff that works, and do it today and forever. You want science and studies? Fuck you. I’ve got scars and blood and vomit. -Jim Wendler


                  My 5/3/1 Journal

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                  • #10
                    Thanks everyone for the advice and kind words.

                    Indeed it's all about perspective, and I know I'm young. A few friends and I talked about it yesterday, and it got me thinking- Maybe this won't be near as bad as I think it will be, I guess it's just the uncertain that plagues me and everyone else.
                    TRUE PROTEIN Discount Code- CSH730

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                    • #11
                      Just take yourself at ease buddy. Put yourself out in the market and see what happans.
                      I would suggest you to go for a trainee's job in a gym.
                      NO FREE ADVERTISING

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by darkguitars2000 View Post
                        So here's the deal. I'm 22, graduating in a week. I have a degree that I want, in Exercise Science. So far, I've applied for a few jobs around the state. (Va). No responses yet.

                        Anyway, never in my life have I been so...scared? I guess that's the right word. Everyone's talking about how happy they are to be done, have a degree, etc. All I can think is- I really don't wanna leave this place. Haha. Don't wanna move to a random town by myself, without any rhyme or reason. Don't wanna leave the family, people I've grown up with, all that. Pretty much not seeing any positives at this point.

                        Advice? Anyone been here before?
                        My advice...get at master's degree & put off the whole moving on with the next stage of your life thing. It will give you a little more of a gradual transition, and unless you wanna be a personal trainer, you're probably gonna need one anyways.

                        I felt the same way when I was your age, but at least you have a degree you wanted. I was still hung up on being an athlete because that's all I ever knew & played baseball through college. But, I definitely wasn't prepared to move on yet and missed the college life and all my friends for the next 10 years. If you're not ready to move on, don't force it because you may make decisions you regret that become hard to get out of as your responsibilities accumulate. Spend time figuring out what you want to do now and ease your transition. Going to grad school will allow you to do that and will help you in your career in the process. There's nothing wrong with living at home and saving money as you complete grad school. And, in that field, if you've done well academically there are tons of GAs that will help you finance it. Good luck!

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by darkguitars2000 View Post
                          I guess it's just the uncertain that plagues me and everyone else.
                          I'll just add quickly to my previous post from a book I just read called "The Difference Maker" by John Maxwell. People resist change because 1) of personal loss, 2) fear of the unknown, 3) the timing could be wrong, 4) it feels awkward, or 5) tradition. All of these are valid, but are mostly based on fear and emotions. It's important to realize the flip side that 1) it will happen whether you like it or not, 2) without change there can be no improvement, 3) pay the price for change (or you could could pay much more for not), 4) change must happen within you before it happens around you, 5) know what you're willing to change and what you're not willing to change, and 6) remember it's never too late the change.


                          Here are a few quotes I jotted from the book that seemed meaningful:

                          Remember that all the things you love were once unknown to you. Don't be afraid to try something new.

                          Without struggle there can be no progress.

                          The only way to overcome fear is to go out and do the very thing you fear to do.

                          For everything you gain you lose something. Even when change is good, we will give up things that are important to us.

                          Every beginning is a consequence. Every beginning ends something.

                          The biggest thing that caught my attention is the realization that for most successes in life change was involved. Change is what causes us to get out of our comfort zone and experience the things necessary to grow. Without that change, growth can't occur. And, even though change may seem bad, it's going to happen either way. You can think of paying the price for change, or you may also pay more for not changing.

                          I hope you find some of that helpful.

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                          • #14
                            "Remember that all the things you love were once unknown to you."

                            I LOVE that man. Love it. So awesome. Reminds me of a lyric I thought of this morning- "Do you remember when we were young, did you ever think that you would be this blessed?"

                            Thanks much for the kind words, Chris. It does help, so I hope you feel the appreciation.

                            Thanks again for everyone taking the time to give me some advice, I'm sure I'll reread it all a few more times in the coming weeks. One day I'll look back at this time and say "oh that's why you felt that way..."

                            Thanks again fellas.
                            TRUE PROTEIN Discount Code- CSH730

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                            • #15
                              Dont sweat it. Things just take their course. My sole piece of advice is that in whatever you do, be it temporary or sustained, do it your all. I was where you were 10 years ago(with no degree). 22 and still living at home the my parents(who were about to kick my ass out). Had zero idea of where I was going. I wandered around for 6 years after high school boozing and stumbled into a personal training job(at 24). Wasn't great but it got the bills paid. I was the only person there with the mentality that I would be willing to do anything my peers wouldn't. I offered, and prepared to babysit kids, cook clients food, shop for them. Worked 7 days a week, if necessary.
                              I was a mediocre trainer but was just motivated. Someone took notice and decided to give me a 200,000 dollar check to open a gym. That turned into buying another one 3 times the size.
                              You never know who's going to take notice. At 27 I had 20k in debt, no savings, no retirement. At 31 I have no debt and my biggest living expenses are my retirement and savings. If you have a little common sense and a lot of diligence, you'll be set to be successful. You just make it happen, brother. Time moves fast but you got a lot of it.

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