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The irrefutable facts of bodybuilding
1. The only exercise worth doing is the bench press . . . after all that’s the only one that determines anything, just ask everybody else in the world. After all, when was the last time a chick ever asked you how much you leg extension?
2. Being a body builder makes you a highly accomplished furniture mover/heavy thing lifter – after all, you go to the gym so much you should have no problem at all hauling a king sized mattress up three flights of stairs.
3. No matter where you go, if there is alcohol there, you’re sure to find that 137 pound guy that wants to arm wrestle.
4. Everyone you run into, regardless of how old they are, used to be able to bench 350 – back when they were your age.
5. Drunk guys that want to fight you will always talk to your chest.
6. You can have the biggest chest and quads in the world and drunk women will still only squeeze your bicep.
7. The one time you train calves so hard that you can barely walk will be the one time your girlfriend actually wants to be bent over the back of the couch.
8. The hottest chick in the gym will be using the machine next to you the one time you decide to do mexican food and beer for lunch.
9. The bigger you get, the more people will need to speak to you DURING your set.
10. They don’t design sports cars for guys with 56 inch shoulders.
11. Everyone in the continental United States has a brother or a cousin that is a national level competitor “about your size” but oddly doesnt own a single pic.
2. Being a body builder makes you a highly accomplished furniture mover/heavy thing lifter – after all, you go to the gym so much you should have no problem at all hauling a king sized mattress up three flights of stairs.
3. No matter where you go, if there is alcohol there, you’re sure to find that 137 pound guy that wants to arm wrestle.
4. Everyone you run into, regardless of how old they are, used to be able to bench 350 – back when they were your age.
5. Drunk guys that want to fight you will always talk to your chest.
6. You can have the biggest chest and quads in the world and drunk women will still only squeeze your bicep.
7. The one time you train calves so hard that you can barely walk will be the one time your girlfriend actually wants to be bent over the back of the couch.
8. The hottest chick in the gym will be using the machine next to you the one time you decide to do mexican food and beer for lunch.
9. The bigger you get, the more people will need to speak to you DURING your set.
10. They don’t design sports cars for guys with 56 inch shoulders.
11. Everyone in the continental United States has a brother or a cousin that is a national level competitor “about your size” but oddly doesnt own a single pic.
v funny
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