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Basic Rules For Driving In The Toronto Area

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  • Basic Rules For Driving In The Toronto Area

    I am sure that this applies to more then just Toronto since I have seen this all over the place. But I thought I would post it for you guys/gals to get a kick out of it.

    1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Toronto driver
    never uses them.

    2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you
    and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody
    else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

    3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance
    you have of getting hit.

    4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No
    one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.

    5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork.
    Ontario is a no-fault insurance province and the other guy doesn't have
    anything to lose.

    6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that
    your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake
    pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch
    your legs.

    7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good
    way to scare people entering the highway.

    8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and
    are apparently not enforceable in Toronto during rush hour

    9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or
    move over doesn't mean that a Toronto driver flashing his high beams
    behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

    10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even
    someone changing a tire.

    11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Toronto is the home of the high-speed
    slalom driving thanks to the Provincial Highway Department, which puts
    potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on
    their toes.

    12. It is traditional in Toronto to honk your horn at cars that don't
    move the instant the light turns green

    13. Remember that the goal of every Toronto driver is to get there first
    by whatever means necessary.

    14. In the Toronto area, 'flipping someone the bird' is considered
    polite Toronto salute. This gesture should always be returned.

    15. At least four more cars should proceed on a left after the light
    turns red. If you fail to do so, you will be rear-ended.

    16. The highways can also be used to dispose of any messy garbage that
    may be lying around. These items are better off cluttering the side of
    the road then cluttering your car's interior where they may distract you
    and cause an accident.

    17. If someone cuts you off you should return the gesture by speeding
    around them on the right, pulling in front of them and slamming on the
    brakes. This works even better when your car is of lesser value.

    18. Never make eye contact with another driver when passing through
    Scarborough. Nuff said!
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  • #2
    These rules definitely apply here in the States as well...weird, eh?
    Definitely pretty funny, in a sick kind of way.

    "When you guys get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy."

    "Carry 24/7 or guess right."

    "There are only two kinds of people that understand Marines: Marines and the enemy. Everyone else has a second-hand opinion."

    "993 yo f9t[n9y[I8itineraryBMiy v][/t u 98 oh 99 u]y8y u[/hy jyip NH j o have I h"