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How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:

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  • How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:

    1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

    2) Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)

    3) Insist that your e-mail address is:
    [email protected]
    [email protected].

    4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

    5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

    6) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."

    7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

    8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

    9) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.'

    10) Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."

    11) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

    12) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.

    13) Don't use any punctuation

    14) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

    15) Ask people what sex they are.

    16) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

    17) Sing along at the opera.

    18) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

    19) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)

    20) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.

    21) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

    22) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

    23) Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies

    24) Call the psychic hotline and just say, "Guess"

    25) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

    26) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!, I Won! - 3rd time this week!!!"

    27) When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

    28) Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do."

    29) Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go"

    30) Every time you see a broom, yell "Honey, your mother is here!"
    OLD GUYS RULE!!

  • #2
    Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go"

    Lol!!!!

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    • #3
      When I get a call from a female telemarketer, I say in a deep low voice, "what are you wearing".

      If it is a guy on the other end, I say very loud, "Oh my god" and hang up...
      "That damn log book"

      www.trueprotein.com Highest quality protein at the lowest price...

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      • #4
        I've seen this one before, always good for some great laughs.
        Please tell your boobs to quit staring at my eyes

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        • #5
          Originally posted by In-Human
          When I get a call from a female telemarketer, I say in a deep low voice, "what are you wearing".

          If it is a guy on the other end, I say very loud, "Oh my god" and hang up...

          I get asked if my mom is home.......so I just say "nope".
          Kid's Wench :flex: and Bon-Bon's sis
          Ask me about FitnessXLOnline.com
          www.TrueProtein.com
          *use FXL222 for a discount on your 1st purchase




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          • #6
            thanks for the laugh, i needed it after today.


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            • #7
              Theres one a guy at my old job did that should TOTALLY be on that list. He worked in accounting and outside his cube he had a sign that read:

              Due to budget cuts the light at the end of the tunnel will be out until further notice.

              Thank you
              The management
              OLD GUYS RULE!!

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              • #8
                Originally posted by In-Human
                When I get a call from a female telemarketer, I say in a deep low voice, "what are you wearing".

                If it is a guy on the other end, I say very loud, "Oh my god" and hang up...
                I like to answer, "No, he's actually on the shitter, but he probably won't be done 'til after you're done working. What's your home number?..."

                -R
                The Book Has Arrived!
                The Book Has Arrived!

                Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a pristine, well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, used up, worn out, and shouting, "Holy #$&^%$^... What a ride!!!"


                www.TrueNutrition.com

                2012 NPC Master's Nationals HW 5th. Mid-USA HW & Overall
                2010 NPC Jr. USA HW 4th, Pacific USA Heavy 2nd
                2009 NPC Mr. Arizona HW & Overall, Jr. Nationals HW 16th, Smoked at USA's

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                • #9
                  My buddy used to try to flip it around on 'em. he'd wait til they said "I'm calling to tell you about . . . " and he'd bust in and say "WAIT - before you go on! I'm so glad you got through! I have this incredible offer for you - it'll only take a few moments of your time . . . " thats about when they'd all hang up - LMAO!
                  OLD GUYS RULE!!

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                  • #10
                    this si DEFINITELY gonna help me for my psych exam tomorrow

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