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Men strike back
Romance Mathematics
Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Affair
Dumb Man+ Smart Woman = Marriage Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy
Office Arithmetic
Smart Boss + Smart Employee = Profit
Smart Boss + Dumb Employee = Production
Dumb Boss + Smart Employee = Promotion
Dumb Boss + Dumb Employee = Overtime
Shopping Math
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
General Equations & Statistics
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Happiness
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and try not to understand her at all.
Longevity
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
Propensity to Change
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
Discussion Technique
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
How to stop people from bugging you about getting married:
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next!"
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
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