Thread: Joke of the Day
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Old 10-13-2004, 08:56 AM   #35
ctgblue
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Top Ten Things Not to Say to a Cop When You're Pulled Over
1. Back off Barney, I've got a piece.
2. Want to race to the station, Sparky?
3. I know I was weaving, but I can't find the Honeycomb Hideout!
4. On the way to the station let's get a twelve pack.
5. You'll never get those cuffs on me...You Pussy!
6. Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!
7. Hey, wasn't your daughter a pork queen?
8. How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.
9. Hey officer is that your nightstick or are you just glad to see me?
10. I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunk'in Doughnuts has a 3 for 1 special!
Top Ten Signs You Bought A Bad Computer
1. Lower corner of screen has the words "Etch-a-sketch" on it.
2. It's celebrity spokesman is that "Hey Vern!" guy.
3. In order to start it you need some jumper cables and a friend's car.
4. It's slogan is "Pentium: redefining mathematics".
5. The "quick reference" manual is 120 pages long.
6. Whenever you turn it on, all the dogs in your neighborhood start howling.
7. The screen often displays the message, "Ain't it break time yet?"
8. The manual contains only one sentence: "Good Luck!"
9. The only chip inside is a Dorito.
10. You've decided that your computer is an excellent addition to your fabulous paperweight collection.
Top Ten Reasons Your Bank Line is so Long
1. Bank employees are attention starved.
2. Bank managers take bets to see which customer passes out first.
3. Tellers are too busy plotting their lunch break to be concerned with the customers.
4. The abacus got rusty.
5. Bank employees spend too much time telling customers to LINK-UP.
6. Artists get tired printing twenty dollar bills by hand.
7. Why not, you've got all day.
8. Because It's 12:45 and you know your check is going to bounce at 1:00pm
9. Service charges and line-ups are cosmically linked.
10. That Old Lady is paying all her bills in pennies.
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